Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted on the earth. –Psalm 46:10
One of the most perplexing paradigms in the Christian faith is waiting with a sense of urgency. Our Lord has called us to live in this tension of patient proactivity that surpasses my ability to balance. We are to live as men and women at war taking the kingdom of heaven forcefully, yet prayerfully and submissively wait on Him to do it.
And it drives me nuts.
- I want to own a home, refurbish it, maybe even build my own furniture!
- I want to plant a garden, grow my own food, maybe even live off the land!
- I want to have chickens. I could eat eggs, sell eggs, and when they get old- hey who doesn’t love chicken soup?
- I want to gain more knowledge, go back to school, maybe even get my PhD!
- I’d like to learn more about fitness and sports nutrition maybe get a certification in personal training….
- I’d like to make more quilts, sweaters, aprons, and other accessories for all my friends, family and neighbors.
- How cool it would be to start my own business—as a nutrition consultation, wellness coach, holistic clinic or local foods restaurant.
- I’d love to invite my co-workers over for dinner more often, get involved in community events, and join various local organizations and events.
- I want to memorize the bible—as much as humanly possible in this lifetime.
- I want to take trips with my mom, visit my friends on church plants, and see more of the world.
- I’d like to learn to play the guitar (better), would love to learn the drums too, maybe take lessons.
- I long for a husband, children, a puppy (in that order).
- I want to blog, journal, and write. I love researching, introspection, and reflection.
- It would be fun to open an esty account and sell homemade products online.
- I’d like to listen to every sermon ever preached!
- I want to spend time with friends and dig deeper into their lives. I want to develop kind of close relationships that creates eternal bonds that cannot be broken by the strongest forces.
……..I could go on and on…..
But all this does is breed further discontent—because I will never do it all—and even if I did, I would continually be made aware of new things I long to do and will never have the time, talent or resources. And as much as I ache to DO, I need to exercise the discpline of stopping.
My logic is deeply flawed– not entirely, but deeply. My perspective of more is better, and if a little is good, a lot is great is not rooted in scripture. My subconscious outlook is that the more things I do, the more points I earn. I look at the parable of the talents with great longing to one day hear the precious words of my Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
But the talents I gain are not measured by the number of things I do, nor by the amount of people I influence—they are attained by the simple action of obedience to each and every word he whispers. And while I tend to hear, “Go and make ….build and grow…..create and keep busy,” I would be wise to heed their counterpart—to stop doing and start being. Being still in my thoughts, my actions, my hopes & ambitions, that maybe if I shut out the noise of life, I just may, in fact, hear the sweet voice of the author of life.